3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
