i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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