Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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