It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
