2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
