Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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