Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
