One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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