apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i dont even know how to be here
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
