I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
