There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
