So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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