thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just had sex bonerless
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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