Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
