We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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