Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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