Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
