so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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