Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
