Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
