Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
