Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
