so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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