Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There's even glitter on my cock...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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