my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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