I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
