Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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