As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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