with your own penis?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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