i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
