Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
