Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My bed smells like the plague
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
