he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
