I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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