The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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