If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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