Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
