just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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