you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
