how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
