Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night

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(713): View more from Texas

well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there

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(408): View more from California

I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.

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(518): View more from New York

I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you

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(925): View more from California

Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?

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(428): View more from

she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.

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(305): View more from Florida

Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick

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(919): View more from North Carolina

His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick

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