I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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