Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
