Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
