my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I wish there were birth control emojis
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
