If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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