Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
