So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
