I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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