So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
