I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
