Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
