At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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