Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
