She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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