dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
