I feel like abortions should bother me more
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
