Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
