it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
