I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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