Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
