did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
