We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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