Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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