Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
